The Staff Republic | passionate event and promotional staff

From Potty Trained to Potty Mouths!!!

Everyday, some might say almost religiously I stagger into the kitchen flick on the television and tune into Sky News, this allows me to journey comfortably from the Land of Nod to Reality, as my ears are gently massaged with a variety of news strokes…..

Imagine my horror when the unimpressionable, young, naive newsreader that is Charlotte Hawkins uttered an obscenity, all be it by accident, but a classic display of oral pottiness nonetheless!!! A shower of milk, rice crispies and exhaled air ensued, before me the breakfast bar scarred with masticated food ( get down cats!!, that’s not for you!) the air around me a dark shade of blue!!

Hiliarious really, don’t you just love it, these poor newsreaders going over the same stories every 15 mins, we could forgive them for being a little tired, all those early mornings!! And, then suddenly, your not just a newsreader anymore, oh no, now you are a Global Star on You-Tube, yeah, wonder how long it will be before one of the trusty editing staff will, ohh, crikey, a slip of the fingers, how did that get uploaded!!! Possibly!!

So it got me thinking, just how often does this happen, do they have a board with each presenter clambering for that Global recognition, all for the wrong reasons of course.

Well, here’s a few, starting with Charlotte’s, that’l make you larf:

And just because I am an absolute child:

Posted by Josh on August 07, 2009

In Through The Nose And Out Through The Mouth

Regarding my earlier post, No Such Thing As Bad Publicity (20.07.09), it seems as though I was a tad premature (no comments, please). I missed this piece of gold when it was originally on the news, but it’s definitely worth a watch even a couple of weeks after airing.

Bad publicity, it seems, can be very harmful indeed. United Airlines eventually offered $3,000 to Dave Carroll as recompense for their baggage handlers ruining his guitar (which they also deigned to fix), but only after having 10% wiped off their share value - around $180million! Dave, from Sons Of Maxwell, is donating the money to charity, and his song has received over 4.6million hits on You Tube, breathing life into his career.

At the risk of being pelted with abuse, United Airlines told CNN that they are using the incident internally to improve customer services. Bad publicity, it seems, can be very bad indeed.

Dave, meanwhile, is planning to release another two songs about the experience. Look out, United!

Posted by Pawan on August 06, 2009

And now for some News!!

Just when you thought you had heard everything, along comes Reuters with this little story!! :

Cash-strapped Cuba says toilet paper running short

Cubans receive a subsidized food ration from the government each month that they say meets their needs for about two weeks.

President Raul Castro told the National Assembly last week that the government had cut its spending budget for the second time this year and has been renegotiating its debt and payments with foreign providers.

Cuba has long blamed the 47-year-old U.S. trade embargo against the island for many of its economic problems. It also said that last year’s hurricanes did $10 billion worth of damage that forced the government to spend heavily on imports of food and reconstruction products.

Castro, who replaced his ailing older brother Fidel Castro as president last year, also has complained that Cuba’s productivity is too low.

He has taken various steps to boost output, including putting more state-owned land in private hands and pushing for salaries to be based on productivity.

That’s the story but hey, do you not return to a time where Dinasours roamed the landscape if you run out of one of life’s essentials, TOILET PAPER!!!

So I’m guessing that it’s not that bad and this is a bit of bad publicity that will in turn generate more sales of newspaper that will in turn provide more paper ( at least of some sort!!) to families, so that they may IN TURN have ..........., well you get the jist of it. Now that’s clever marketing….

Ahh, after all that I see where the problem lies….

Posted by Josh on July 31, 2009

Reaching For The Apple Of My Eye

I’ve just finished reading a book that I can heartily recommend to anybody with any interest in the world and the meaning of life. It’s called Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance, by Robert M. Pirsig (not a French Fancy to be seen).

It’s basically a story of a man trying to find a solution to the eternal “mind versus matter” struggle - objectivity versus subjectivity. The finer details are far too mindboggling to go into in any great detail here, but the whole principle rests around Quality. What is quality? How do we recognise it? I score myself as a 9 on You Gov’s brand index scale of how brand aware a person is, and would like to think that I can recognise quality - or Quality - being Good and worthy of the capital letters.

The lead character in the book believes that Quality is not something that exists within objects, but neither is it something that is subjective, as often numerous individuals recognise the notion of quality around the same things. Therefore it exists independently of us and guides us to make the decisions we do and have the feelings we have.

A good example of this in marketing terms is the fact that despite the economic downturn “the top 100 global brands have increased in value by 2% over the past year”, according to The Executive Marketing Blog.

One of the featured brands is Apple and - being an Apple convert myself and with all the negative press around Windows Vista in particular and Microsoft in general – any Apple user will tell you that there is something about Apple that screams Quality. They seem to have thought of every detail from an end-user perspective. That’s where the Quality comes in: no separation of object-subject, producer-consumer. An organisation can strive for Quality, but it must realise the value of Quality during the process. Like Pirsig’s lead realises, the only Zen you find at the top of a mountain is the Zen that you take up there with you.

P.S. If you can sit all the way through this ad please post and let me know.

Posted by Pawan on July 28, 2009

Finished the Decking…....

Wow, well that was hard work, had to clear so much earth initially I thought I had hit oil at one point!!

The final job was to clear all the foliage around my deck as I have been told it’s the easiset way to make your deck look bigger!. , and it’s a sight to behold, even got adventurous and built a pergola above it, phew, there was no stopping me, well or so I thought!!!.......

There came a point where something inside me, that little voice that know’s it all, no, not my wife!!, one that says you better save some of that wood, have you seen…......THOSE CLOUDS!!!!!!!

Had we really gone back to biblical times, was this a calling, first Moses, then Evan Almighty!!, now DIY enthusiast Josh Connor….!!! Was the rest of the wood ordered really left over to build an Ark, were those clouds so thick that they could release a deluge of water that would last for 40 days and 40 nights, or had Josh simply had one too many glasses of lager that afternoon, blaming it on the need for refreshment and rehydration…...

Yes, I know you will clearly be very surprised, but yes it was the latter. I know, I can see the shock in your faces!! Certainly they were the meanest clouds I had ever seen, and meterolgically speaking ( not easy to say after those lagers!!) they were charging Goliaths and this David knew which way to turn!!, take cover…...

Blimey, did we ever see rainfall like that, I did’nt know whether ( I know bad choice of word!!) to run for it or swim for it….. Many, many, many hours later it finally stopped, only to be followed by even more days of rain, don’t you just love the Great British Summer!! As always at the beginning of the year heavily marketed as another scorcher!!

So maybe the Ark was’nt such a bad idea!!

Posted by Josh on July 23, 2009

No Such Thing as Bad Publicity

Picture the scene…

You’re shopping around you’re favourite supermarket. You’ve got your loaf, your curry paste and your French Fancies. You’re about to get something Spanish and tasty to go with your meal when you spot a couple of promotional staff giving out some samples. ‘Hmmm,’ you think, “this could be just what I’m after for this evening.”

You head on up, smiling, when one of the marketeers beams, “Fancy making your guts bleed out through your nose? Then this is the stuff for you!”

What do you think? Would you buy it? Would you be bound by some horrific fascination as to whether it really would make your guts bleed out through your nose? Is that even possible? If so, would you invite the ex round for one last “chat” to get everything off your chest (and out of theirs)?

It’s this fascination that propels us to watch movies like Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist, which has received an enormous amount of publicity since its debut at the Cannes Film Festival in May. It arrives in the UK this Friday amidst such a fanfare of controversy that it is impossible to imagine hordes of viewers not going to see it and hordes of protesters, well…protesting. The only question that does remain is whether the British Board of Film Classification will pass it uncut. I, for one - and in the name of freedom of speech and artistic intent - hope that they do. However, given the graphic nature of some of the scenes (which you’re probably best off researching yourself), I think I’ll bypass the Pic ‘n’ Mix on the way in.

Posted by Pawan on July 20, 2009

” MY HERO !!!! ”

Boyz love Toyz and when it comes to this little beauty, it’s a major distraction!!!

Had to wait a painful, nail-biting, hair-extracting 3 weeks for the HTC Hero smartphone, counting each day as the big tease that is Orange, adjusted the release date 4 times, can you imagine the torture…...... Well, you kinda had to be there!!!

Those who drop to they over chaffed knees and pray to the god Iphone may have to change their religion in my view of course, I strongly feel that we have a gladiator in the room with the HTC Hero.

Iphone always won the applause largely due to their simple yet impressive interface, which allowed for multiple uploading of applications and the ease of use with so much information and technology effortlessly at your fingertips… That was then, this is now and there’s a new sharpshooter in town, and he/she’s a HERO.

As you will see from the footage, this has an unbelievable user interface that allows you to totally personalise all the screens available to you, all 7 of them!! Instant access to social sites, widgets replace applications and there’s a whole new world out there….

So they say a picture paints a thousand words, well feast your eyes on this…....

Posted by Josh on July 16, 2009

Marketing The Unmarketable (Part One)

The old adage goes that people who talk about the weather have nothing interesting to say. Others claim that we Brits talk of nothing else. I refute both of these heartily. Only last week a friend and I conducted a healthy debate about fashion preferences: brollies or wellies?

My old mate Josh touched on this in mid June, when it did indeed seem like we were heading for a heat wave akin to that in Predator 2 (although we hoped without the ensuing shenanigans). However, Wimbledon came and, as though reminded of a chore by a vaguely related incident, the rain soon followed, excusing itself for being late and brushing the crumbs from its trousers.

Just when you think it’s going well old Blighty blights us with the latest bout of rain/hail/storms/floods/cats/dogs. In such an environment it’s amazing that our tourist industry survives at all. With this in mind I thought it would be fun to do a little digging and see just how it is that our tourist boards manage to get people to set foot on our blessed isle at all.

Let’s start with England.

The official website for breaks and days out in England highlights its use of the English Rose symbol. Anywhere you see it means that you are “assured that all attractions showing this logo have, themselves, been quality assured in England’s only independent quality scheme for all attractions.” Therefore quality is something to be guaranteed, despite external forces. The site also advises that you grab your sunscreen and on the following link neatly sidesteps the issue by saying: “England is hard to beat when the sun shines.” This is a tidy tactic, like a wizened matador deftly sidestepping an onrushing bull. Pepper these pleasantries with a wash of pictures of bikini-clad cartwheelers on sandy beaches, sun-drenched stately homes and reflections of Victorian railway arches in pristine lakes and we are handed something better than the truth: the idea of perfection.

This is experiential marketing without the experience, a magic trick with no cards. Yet we are left with more than a beautiful assistant. Instead we succumb freely to a paradise of the mind precisely because we are so eager to believe it: the mythos of England’s green and pleasant land.

(If you’re reading this, Enjoy England, you can reach me on 0151 55378008).

Posted by Pawan on July 14, 2009

The Proposal

Now, once, every so often a chick flick grabs my attention, a rom-com that is well acted, there is clear chemistry between the two leads and it really looks like everyone is having fun, both in the creating and the filming of. That film ladies and gentlemen is “The Proposal”..

It’s genius, Ryan Reynolds has definitely found his niche with rom-coms and it seems a perfect match with Sandra Bullock, as the two pull off a classic in my view. The very obvious vitreal that they regard each other with in the early stages and the chromatograpical reveal of their true colours as the story unfolds, how they have to give off to those around them a picture of undiluted love and to us the audience the continual reminder that this is painful!!!

This is just a short blog as I have the tendancy to go on and before you know it I’ve told you the ending!!! So I won’t mention that in the end the aliens come down and everyone is abducted…....Doohhh